When the River Stops Running: Negotiating the Emotional Transition of Retirement

Have you noticed that when some people meet a doctor in a casual setting, they often share some medical challenge, perhaps in the hope of finding ‘another opinion?’ I’m no doctor but when new acquaintances learn that I’m a financial advisor, I sometimes get the same treatment. People often share financial challenges with me soon after meeting.

Recently a gentleman shared with me that retirement was proving surprisingly difficult for him. The idea of going without a paycheck struck him harder than he’d expected.

This isn’t an uncommon reaction. In fact, year after year, surveys show that a majority of American adults fear running out of money more than they fear death.* That’s powerful.

This makes sense. You've been trained for decades to rely on the rhythm of a paycheck. It’s a steady stream, coming through on a regular schedule, month after month, year after year. You can think of that stream of cash as a river running alongside your house. You don't worry at night thinking the water will dry up; you simply cup your hands and fill them up whenever you do want it. That river is your paycheck, and it supported a lifestyle that you’ve become accustomed to.

Then there is retirement. Overnight, nearly instantly, the river ceases.

To some, it’s a day for celebration - all the freedom from the rigors of work and the beginning of long-awaited journeys. To others, it’s an uncomfortable day. Today, instead of dipping your cup into the stream, you’re drawing off the bank you’ve developed over a lifetime of thrift and investment. The stream is there, but it doesn’t refill itself the same way, and it can be emotionally painful.

This shift, although primarily financial on the surface, is emotional at the core. Let’s be honest, cash is never just figures. It’s autonomy, security, and comfort all in one package. As the stream changes, your mind needs to adapt along with it.

So, what can you do to prepare for life after the river stops flowing? Below are some of the ways through which you can make the adjustment:

 1. Transition from Scarcity to Sufficiency

You can forgive yourself for worrying about drawing on savings. Retirees worry they will “run out.”  You can get beyond that fear by considering your nest egg differently. You can think of it not as a vanishing pile but as an intentionally created reservoir- large enough to sustain you, and especially valuable when paired with Social Security, pensions, or other streams of income. A proper financial plan can make you confident your resources are designed to last.

 2. Establish a New Routine

Work shaped your days for decades. Retirement provides freedom but along with it, emptiness. With no purpose or beat, anxiety can creep in. Volunteering, starting a hobby, exercising, or joining a group can all contribute to filling the void left by the removal of that daily routine and can provide satisfaction beyond the financial kind. 

3. Practice Gratitude

It isn't always simple, but gratitude can redefine your outlook emotionally. Instead of worrying about what isn't coming your way anymore, reflect on what you’ve brought into the world. Maintaining a gratitude journal, morning reflections, or simply thinking about the liberty retirement offers can help instill peace.

As you may know I received a black belt in martial arts some years ago. The Grandmaster of the dojo I attended taught me to put my hand on my chest upon awakening and think of three things I’m grateful for in this life. It’s made an impact on me over the years. You might have your own routine.

4. Discuss It

Retirement is a life change, not just a financial one. Talking with a spouse, friends, or even a therapist can be invaluable. Sharing hopes and fears reduces isolation and provides perspective.

5. Keep Perspective

Remember: You foresaw this transition, and you prepared for it. Retirement is not the end of income, but the beginning of living off a lifetime of intentional preparation. The disciplines that allowed you to earn, save, and invest don't perish- they've brought you this far.  Retirement is an emotional and fiscal process. The income stream can suddenly stop flowing, but if your storage tank was properly developed, you will have the water you need. With foresight, appreciation, and clarity, the new chapter can be an age of serenity, direction, and happiness.

If you’re still nervous, call us. We want to help.

* https://www.kiplinger.com/retirement/americans-worry-more-about-going-broke-in-retirement-than-dying

HelloRetirement is a trademark of Bourke Wealth Management, an investment adviser registered with the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission.

This commentary reflects the personal opinions, viewpoints and analyses of the Bourke Wealth Management employees providing such comments, and should not be regarded as a description of advisory services provided by Bourke Wealth Management or performance returns of any Bourke Wealth Management client. The views reflected in the commentary are subject to change at any time without notice. Nothing in this commentary constitutes investment advice, performance data or any recommendation that any particular security, portfolio of securities, transaction or investment strategy is suitable for any specific person. Any mention of a particular security and related performance data is not a recommendation to buy or sell that security. Bourke Wealth Management manages its clients’ accounts using a variety of investment techniques and strategies, which are not necessarily discussed in the commentary. Investments in securities involve the risk of loss. Past performance is no guarantee of future results.